In the world of freelance, is it wrong?

Is it wrong? Sam Howard shares her freelance ethical ponderings:

shh please don’t wake him…

1. If he’s the only person you’ll talk to all day, is it wrong to launch into your 11-year-old with your most perplexing business issues, fears, and brilliant new ideas while he munches his morning porridge?

2. Is it OK to wear leg warmers and fingerless gloves indoors?

3. What about pretending the web camera on your Skype call isn’t working when, in truth, it’s because you look like shit? Or because the bloody dog is jumping around in the background, trying to bury his Kong toy in the sofa.

4. Is it weird to have full-blown conversations with the rabbit, cat, and dog in an effort to recreate those water cooler moments?

5. Can I have the fan heater and the central heating on simultaneously?

6. What’s the etiquette on stuffing dog treats in your brand new £40 sheepskin slippers? The ones that were a Christmas present from your lovely mum, just to keep the dog amused for ten minutes so you can reach your copywriting deadline.

7. Will someone report me to the freelance police if I eat soup straight from the pan and then give the carton and the pan to the dog to keep him quiet for five minutes?

8. Can I hang up on a conference call because I’ve just spotted the dog putting the rabbit’s head in his mouth?

9. Is it a war crime to top up the afternoon coffee with a hefty dose of Tia Maria? And then put its purchase against your tax expenses as ‘office beverages’?

10. Is it unethical to open the door to my child as he comes home from school, starving hungry, freezing cold, and soaked through, with the greeting:
“Can you PLEASE take The Bloody Dog out! I have had him all day and he’s driving me frickin crazy. GO! NOW! GO!”